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EvaLavender
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EvaLavender

I feel like my “best friend” is kind of a backstabber.
She chooses guys over me all the time, is kind of slutty (as in takes off her skirt in front of them because it is “uncomfortable” so she can show off her super tight spandex… like, um??)

She never really asks me if I’m okay when I’m upset, and I feel like she doesn’t really care about my feelings. I also feel like she expects me to follow her everywhere, and unless I say hi first, she won’t talk to me.

She also flirts A LOT with MY crush, and she knows I like him. We were all at a pool and she would like, sit with him by the pool and when I tried to pull her in she grabbed his arm and pulled him in too. She also dunked him under the water and it just pissed me off so much. I don’t even like him that much anymore because it seems like he likes my friend now better than me. It sucks.

I asked me friend to stop flirting with him, and she ignored me for a month…

What do I do??!?!

posted over 9 years ago
pandaphilia
Style_council
pandaphilia

I think you need to be having this talk with her instead of with us : )
When you say best friend, how long have you guys been best friends and how long has she been doing this?

You need to sit down with her and let her know she is doing all this stuff that pisses you off and seems kind of trashy. She needs to know her boundaries! Sometimes when you think a girl is your best friend, she might not feel or act the same way. You deserve a best friend who treats you equally well!

posted over 9 years ago
 
anakwardasiangurl
Style_council
anakwardasia...

i agree with pandaphilia. and if she still ignores you or doesn’t respond back like a REAL best friend. forget her and move on. but when you do tell her how you feel, try to add something positive like “i really care about you and i really don’t want any problems between us. i need my best friend back.” but like i said, if shes still a total B then thats life and she was never your best friend.

posted about 9 years ago
 
Sarabear
Style_council
Sarabear

I think you should find some people who bring out the best in you. your friend seems to make you upset, and angry. You deserve to be happy, so find people who will bring out the best in you and make you happy

posted about 9 years ago
 
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chicchica_bo...

pandaphilia hit the nail on the head.

but sarabear has a good point, you need people around you who are FRIENDS in the best definition of the word. You deserve as much. Ditch her…

And for the guy, FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT flirt with him and push her out of the picture. For him, don’t be afraid to be a little (ok a lot) sluttier to him. But not to other guys, because as long as its just to him, in means youre focusing, and you’re being sexy. You’re focus on him will make him see that youre the better pick over the girl who just treats him like any other guy…

posted about 9 years ago
 
dorotron
Style_council
dorotron

She sounds like a horrible friend. I wouldn’t even bother with a chat… if that “friend” really cared about you she would have taken into account how you would feel.

posted about 9 years ago
 
boredstephanie
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boredstephanie

Like others have said, talk to her and if nothing changes then forget her. You can’t waste your life hanging to people who don’t genuinely care about you

posted about 9 years ago
 
opfiend
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opfiend

I wouldn’t be her friend if I was you. I’ve had two friends that do things like that and one of them ended up dating an ex of mine after a week of us not being together. I plain told her I wasn’t ok with it and even did some crying talking about it in front of her and she did it anyways. The other was totally selfish and just a bad influence. I’m not talking drugs or anything like that but she was just a bad person. Mean….

posted about 9 years ago
 
leahl11
Style_council
leahl11

She’s ignored you for a month. ‘Nuff said. If it was me, I’d definitely move on.

posted about 9 years ago
 
Bennie52491
Style_council
Bennie52491

She seems like she is only around you to give her self some type of false confidence. I think you should stop communicating with her and just pray for her that she would stop being so insecure about herself. But if she means that much to you , you should really try to analyze why she is being so promiscuous. I have a friend who is promiscuous because she was raped. You never know why people do certain things until you learn about their past. When my friend told me I just always took the time out to answer her call and be a shoulder if she needed talking to. I don’t know if your friend’s situation is as severe as my friend but its always good to look at things from all angles. Just do what you feel is best for you because at the end of the day its about what makes you happy and healthy mentally.

posted about 9 years ago
 
lquery83
Style_council
lquery83

a lot of good advice on this thread. I think you can move on, but if you really want closure, talking is the way to go.

…don’t follow the flirting advice, about doing anything for the guy. wtf

posted about 9 years ago
 
maliamazing
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maliamazing

you can always find new BFF’s

posted about 9 years ago
 
MissSmile1423
Style_council
MissSmile1423

She sounds like a total bitch. If she keeps doing that around you, maybe shes not worth to keep around.

posted about 9 years ago
 
sweetoblivion
Style_council
sweetoblivion

talk to her about it. if that only produces a temporary change, then drop her. sometimes it’s just that cut and dry.
people like that aren’t worth keeping around in our lives. i know, i’ve (voluntarily) burned bridges. i’m 22, and i don’t have time for people’s childish antics. especially when it’s disparaging to me. i don’t need people like that in my life when i can surround myself with good ones that don’t treat me like dirt. you know?
i realize that she’s your best friend and you may be scared for many reasons, but putting up with behavior that hurts or embarrasses you is worse than momentarily not having a best friend.

posted about 9 years ago
 
splashofcolour
Style_council
splashofcolour

Honestly, I think she sounds like a slut and a bitch and it seems you could really do better than having people like that in your life. You should just ditch her now because in most cases of people like this, the behaviour just gets worse with age and with the more male attention that person gets.

In all seriousness though, it doesn’t seem like it’s her you’re afraid of losing, it’s the point of having a best friend. Don’t worry, you’ll make new friends or get closer to other people that you’ve not got to know as well because you’ve been worrying too much about your best friend. Believe me I know, I left school without a single friend left because I thought they were all arseholes and I had ditched them all, and now I have a group of friends that are so much nicer and much more loyal, and ditching the old friends was the best thing I’ve ever done. Try and make some new friends as well, maybe take up an after school activity or go to a youth club or underage club night if your area has them, I’ve made some great friendships with people I’ve met at those sorts of things.

posted about 9 years ago
 
GlammcouturE
Style_council
GlammcouturE

I think you need to tell her how you feel, in the most polite way possible, and if she does nothing after that, then slowly distance yourself from her.

posted about 9 years ago
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